Catch up on the first two parts here:
Let’s Talk About Suffering (introduction)
3 Things To Know About Suffering
When life is on the “easier” end of the spectrum, it can be easy to toss out pithy sayings like “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and “God is in control” to someone who’s living on the hard end of the spectrum. And those things are not not true, but when you’re really in it and it really does feel like whatever “it” is might just actually kill you, the idea that there are benefits to the pain is a tough pill to swallow. Suffering freaking hurts, and just because there are benefits doesn’t mean the hurt is any less. And, even in the pain, it is still true that throughout scripture we see God using and redeeming hard circumstances for good. So with the reminder that benefits do not negate pain, here are a few benefits of suffering:
1. Suffering forces us to grapple with the character of God and acknowledge our human limitations.
Suffering can be a major wake up call to recognize the limits of our own abilities and wisdom and show us our need for something bigger than us. In suffering, we can reach the end of our control and strength quickly, with no resolution to the problem in sight. Realizing our limitations can cause us to panic, flounder, and assume God must not really love us-- or, it can drive us towards God in desperation and hope. And maybe it will even push us in both directions at the same time (hi, it’s me).
Suffering forces us to examine what we believe about God and how we relate to Him. We’ve been thinking we know better than God since the infamous apple incident. “Did God really say…” underscores many of our thoughts and reactions, even if we aren’t consciously aware of it. In times of suffering, we may think things like…
Did God really say He loves me? Does He really mean it?
Did God really say He’s good if He allows suffering?
We have to go to the source for answers to our “did God really say” questions, not to our own feelings or others’ opinions. It is crucial to choose to believe and act on the truth found in scripture, even when it doesn’t feel true.
(Side note, if you tend to cycle through the same existential faith crisis on a regular basis, you may want to investigate CCEF’s resources on spiritual OCD and see if any of it sounds familiar).
2. God uses suffering to grow us, strengthen us, and refine our character to be more like Christ.
As much as it hurts, there’s no denying that the experience of suffering changes us. The author of Hebrews says that suffering is a form of training us in Christlikeness in chapter 12:
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
If we grew up in a family culture where “discipline” was only about punishment for wrongdoing, this passage may feel harsh. It’s not untrue that discipline may mean punishment for wrongdoing, but “discipline” can also describe a method of training and growing. When we discipline ourselves to get up at a certain time or create certain habits, we aren’t punishing ourselves- we are training ourselves. In the same way, God uses circumstances to train us and refine and strengthen our character.
And how does suffering grow us? In Romans 5, Paul lays out the progression: suffering → perseverance → (proven) character → hope that doesn’t disappoint. Without suffering, there would be no need for perseverance, and without perseverance we would stay immature.
In 1 Peter 1, Peter tells his audience that trials come to test and prove the genuineness of our faith, and that this genuineness is worth more than gold. Note that Peter does not say that the trials are worth more than gold- he says our resulting genuine faith is worth more than gold. That’s an important distinction for me and helps me remember to ask “what is this teaching me” or “how is this growing me” when my kneejerk reaction to pain is to ask (scream?) “why is this happening”.
3. Suffering can produce empathy and grow our compassion for others.
Have you ever said you liked something, and someone else said, excitedly, “no way, me too!” When someone can relate to us, we feel seen and known.
The same is true with hard things. When someone else can say “me too” to our pain, we share the load of grief for a moment. I can easily empathize with people who are experiencing similar suffering as what I have experienced, because I’ve “been there done that”. Paul says one reason for our own suffering is so that we can comfort others who are also suffering. Even if we haven’t experienced their particular hard thing, being a hard-thing-experiencer allows us to see beyond the category label of pain type and make reasonable assumptions of what they might be emotionally and spiritually experiencing below the surface, which in turn allows us to empathize with them.
Suffering has a way of growing our capacity for compassion and gives us eyes to recognize the pain of others.
Up Next:
3 Ways to Bear With Others Who Are Suffering
3 DO’s and DON’Ts for Suffering
Resources for Suffering