Recovering from “Don’t Waste Your Life”, “Radical”, and “Do Hard Things” Culture

the "delight" experiment (+ why I’m taking a Substack break)

Sometimes to go forward, you first have to go backward. I’ve been pondering the roots of my aversion to “delight”.

I grew up in the era of John Piper’s “Don’t Waste Your Life”, David Platt’s “Radical”, and the Harris brothers’ “Do Hard Things”. And I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water because there is merit to not wasting your life and going hard after things that matter, and some people certainly need a push towards more purpose and intentionality in their life.

But you know how we often gravitate towards things and ideas and people that feel familiar and similar to us? As a driven, achievement-motivated, hyper-responsible person, I was drawn to books like these that validated my slightly over-the-top way of looking at life and confirmed my belief that the more chill people were quite possibly lazy heathens who didn’t take their faith seriously. While the authors I’m sure meant only good things for their audience and to spur them on to good works, having this go-hard-or-go-home mentality held up as THE way to live from well-respected “authorities” in the Christian world was not beneficial for me.

Without realizing it, I came to believe that God was pretty much a slave driver, only pacified by how much we accomplished for him. Which in turn made me a small cog in a big wheel, only worth as much as I could produce. As a result, “fun” and enjoyment became a bad thing, because there was serious work to do, and no time to waste.

While there were (are) some people who needed the kick-in-the-pants these books had to offer, there were others (like me) who needed to be told to go smell a freaking rose for longer than two seconds, and to actually pay attention to the scent instead of running our to-do list on loop in our brains while sniffing. We needed to be challenged to acknowledge that the same God who created work also created rest and play. We needed to be admonished that sitting with God or reveling in the delights found in His creation is also valuable.

I’m quite confident that this “go hard, push beyond your limits, deny yourself for God” mentality has made a large contribution to my health challenges (and in recent years as I’ve become aware of this in myself, I’ve started to notice its affect on others, especially in women. Feminism isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but more on that another time). Now at 35, I’m trying to undo habits and patterns of a lifetime lived from the belief that “I’m only worth what I produce”.

In the process of picking away at writing this piece over the past few months, I’ve realized: as much as I love writing, writing something with the intent of publishing it is another way I seek my next high from productivity. So, along with my social media sabbatical, I’m also taking a Substack sabbatical.

Someday I hope to be back here, but for now this productivity addiction must be starved. And I know myself- cold turkey is the only way. I’ll be resting a ton, learning how to nap (my husband is teaching me this art form), soaking in scripture, writing just for myself, making preschool-level art doodling attempts, birdwatching in my sunny backyard with my feet in the grass, and begging rides from family and friends to the ocean to smell the sea roses and salt air.

Maybe there’s a belief you need to starve, too? Maybe there’s a radical change you need to make to find freedom from the mind jail this belief has you trapped in? Let this be your sign to pray about it and take that step you don’t want to take but know you probably should...

Thanks for indulging my last productivity hit, and see you on the flip side when we can swap stories of how God is changing us for the good ♥️.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

Matthew 11:28-30 MSG