A Reset Button for the New Year
As I’ve searched for answers to my health issues, I’ve become increasingly convinced that our modern world is a lot for a body to deal with. We have access to a literal world of information within seconds at any moment of the day. Based on all previous history to date, this is not normal.
You can’t tell me that the instant access to information, possessions, fake light, and constant noise is not at least in part to blame for our tweaked out nervous systems and skyrocketing anxiety and ADHD rates.
We’re constantly carrying information and problems around in our brains that we literally have zero need to know.
We’ve traded real life connection with people for a false sense of familiarity because we watch our friends’ stories on Instagram.
Many times a day, we trade the possibilities that might come from a little quiet or boredom a for quick hit of screen scrolling dopamine.
We spend hours a day watching fantasy lives on a screen instead of investing in living our real ones.
Screen use has become a predominant coping mechanism for me. Life gets overwhelming, I don’t like how it feels, so I turn on a screen and scroll or watch something brainless to make myself feel “better”. But really I’m just numbing out.
There are times that numbing out is necessary, and our nervous system is even designed by God in such a way that we will naturally “numb out” when something becomes too much for us to handle. But sometimes, our nervous system’s tolerance window shrinks to be very small after repeated stressors, and we have to put in work expand the window again. We have to relearn that we ARE capable to engage with our daily problems without feeling like we need to stick our heads in the sand.
I’m in this phase. After being shredded and torched by life to the point that one unexpected problem makes my body start to curl up into the fetal position before I even realize what’s happening, I’m relearning that I am capable. That I have resources and options available to me when life gets to be too much. And most importantly, that I have access to the One who has power over every single thing, and His Helper who gives me strength when I think I just can’t anymore.
But expanding a tolerance window is hard to do if I constantly assault my nervous system with stimuli. I have to make space to expand my tolerance and exercise my trust muscles. I’ve tried screen time limits, but the thing is they’re so easy to override “just this once” when I’m feeling overwhelmed. In order to create new and healthier coping mechanisms, here’s what I’m doing in this new year to make space for and deal with quiet and boredom:
Cleaning any nonessential apps off my phone.
Essential apps for me are messages, Voxer, Maps, Calendar, Audible, Spotify, Dwell, and Blue Letter Bible. Things like email and Pinterest have been removed and I will use the laptop when I actually need them, which is nowhere near as often as I pop them open when they’re on my phone. I went drastic and deactivated my social media.
Pro tip: How do you know you’re addicted to your phone? You’re addicted to your phone when you take off all the good stuff and start popping the weather app open 20 times a day before you even notice what you’re doing… yeah.
Getting a paper planner and habit tracker.
I was using a habit tracker app, but it was just an excuse to pick my phone up more times than I needed to. So I got this handy little undated weekly habit tracker and planner, and it’s working beautifully. It’s cheap, and it eliminates another excuse to pick up my phone.
Pro tip: Get fun markers to make it colorful! And set goals and prizes for your habits. Treat yourself like a toddler and give/take away privileges and such when necessary.
Listening rather than watching.
Sometimes I DO need something going on or else my brain turns into a dumpster fire. For the most part, I’ve switched over to audiobooks instead of TV shows. It’s challenging and is lengthening my attention span… which I suppose is a good thing!
Pro tip: LibriVox has lots of free books, or Audible has a 4 month pretty cheap introductory rate. The Dwell app also has great options for listening to scripture.
Making a list of things I can do instead of pick up my phone.
In the moment, I always think “there’s nothing to do” like a whiny 7 year old… but in about 10 seconds of actually thinking about it, I came up with a gazillion options. Do some squats. Find everything in the room that’s red. Walk to the mailbox. Think of 5 things specific to the day to be thankful for. Wipe the counter down. Read a chapter of a book. Just be bored for a minute and see what comes to mind. The possibilities are endless.
Pro tip: Make an actual list and tape it up somewhere so you can reference it quickly when you need an idea.
Trying new things.
I absolutely positively hate failing at anything, so I don’t get out much. That’s going to change this winter! I have a date set up with Mrs. P to learn to make sweater mittens, I’m on the hunt for a decent pair of ice skates so I can break my neck at the little rink down the street, and maybe I’ll even try something with paint. Who knows!
Pro tip: Bonus points if your trying something gets you connected with another person. Instead of using Youtube to learn your skill, find someone in your area who can teach it to you. It’s double dipping at its finest.
A New Year’s Challenge for you:
My way of clearing out noise might not be what you need, but what do you need? Take a little time this week before the new year starts to reflect on where you’re numbing out, and see if you can come up with a healthier way to support your mind and body so you can reengage with life.
I’d love to hear your ideas for how you plan to do this!
I’m listening to…
Audiobooks:
→ Sense and Sensibility
→ Anne of Green Gables
Podcasts:
→ Therapy and Theology
→ 6 Doors Out of Fear
Music:
→ Hymns in the Round
→ Godtwang 2
I’m reading…
Ok I’m not actually reading all of these currently, but these are some good resources on the nervous system and wrangling our brains. They’ve helped me understand that I’m not just a freak when I can’t pull myself out of a state of overwhelm, that there are real biological reasons for it. And then some of them have given me tools for what to do about it.
→ The Body Keeps the Score (Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk)
→ Healing Trauma (Peter Levine)
*this one comes with a use discernment caution
→ Get Out Of Your Head (Jennie Allen)
→ Changes that Heal (Dr Henry Cloud)
→ Sarah Jackson Coaching Instagram
I’m loving…
…experimenting with crafty stuff and food!
Top left: dried citrus ornaments
Top right: beeswax candle
Bottom left: chicken stock
Bottom right: Claudelia, my sourdough starter, still going strong
I’m cooking…
→ Bone Broth Hot Chocolate
Serves 1
My go-to complete wintery snack (protein, carb, fat all in one)!
1/2 cup bone broth
1 cup whole raw milk
2 T heavy cream
2 T cocao (cocoa is also ok, but a little more bitter)
1 1/2 T maple syrup
pinch of salt
1-2 scoops collagen
Add everything to a saucepan. Heat just until drinking temperature. Enjoy as a snack!
If you can “taste the animal” as someone I know and love says, back off on the bone broth.
Flavor variation options:
Vanilla: add a 1/4 teaspoon of vanilla teaspoon of vanilla
Peppermint: add a few drops of pepper mint extract, or 1 drop peppermint essential oil (the essential oil version will be STRONG)
Mayan: add 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon and a tiny pinch of cayenne